Handsome Read online

  They took off their hats and asked, “Are you Sarah Litchenberg?”

  My eyes widened. No one ever looked for me. I unlocked the chain and opened the door as I said, “I am.”

  The other cop looked like he had no time. “I’m going to need you to come with us.”

  I clutched the doorknob and shook my head. “I’m babysitting for my sister. Is there a problem?”

  The cop who at first met my eyes looked down. “Your sister was Leah Litchenberg, and your brother was Elijah?”

  For a second, I lost my balance, and I gripped the knob tighter as I asked, “Was?”

  He had his hand on his hat near his chest. “We need you to come identify them and speak to child services about Leah’s son.”

  My mind whizzed.

  Leah had turned out to be exactly like our parents. And Elijah’s father… Tension knotted across my forehead.

  The most important person right now was Joshua, not me, so I asked, “What happened?”

  “There was a car accident.”

  My heart lurched. I’d guessed. I'd answered the door, just like tonight, ten years ago, too. I lifted my chin and asked, “Are they alive?”

  “No.” The officer met my eyes. He must know I already suspected.

  I held up my finger and said, “Let me get the baby ready. One minute.”

  Then I closed the door.

  My shoulders were heavy, and tears made it hard to see clearly.

  My siblings had been all I had.

  I tossed the vodka bottle in the trash and wished…

  No. I wiped my eyes and filled the diaper bag, packing extra diapers and bottles.

  Since I’d seen Cyrus earlier, and he offered help, treating me kindly, I knew Joshua would probably be better off with his father’s family than anything I could ever give him.

  With that, the last of my family would be gone, and I’d be alone, exactly the way I always wanted.

  Still, I packed the outfit I bought for Joshua last week in the bag, so if he got to keep anything, he’d have me with him a little longer.

  He was still sleeping, so I wrapped him in a blanket, held him tight to my chest, and left with the cops.

  My sister and brother's drinking habits were a fight I lost a long time ago. I never had the power to stop them, ever.

  The police put us in the back seat. I refused to touch anything and held Joshua tight.

  He was the only reason I reconnected with Leah and Elijah when Leah contacted me saying she needed a sitter.

  And unlike us, Joshua was sweet and innocent and good. The car stopped in front of the hospital. I blinked, but then realized Leah and Elijah were probably in a morgue.

  A hospital was better than a police station.

  I didn’t let the chilly night air touch Joshua, pulling his blanket loosely over his face and holding him close while I followed the men in blue.

  In my experience, officers were decent tippers, so I’d probably be okay.

  As I rounded the corner, near a waiting room I saw the dark eyes of that man from the street who made my knees weak. I had no idea how he knew this fast, but it didn’t matter. Fate was never in my corner.

  I hated that my sister chose him to use in her extortion scheme, because until tonight I’d never been jealous of her.

  He came closer, and my hairs stood on end again as he asked, “Is that my son?”

  Tears welled in my eyes again. I hugged the sleeping baby, and my throat caught as I asked, “Can… I have a minute?”

  He reached out and then pulled his arms back as he said, “I want… okay.”

  I turned away. I didn’t care that my cheeks were wet. Tonight was the worst night of my life, because now I'd truly lost Joshua. I whispered, “Joshua, it’s going to be okay. If you ever need me, I’ll be there for you.”

  Without a word I handed Cyrus the bag and the baby. If I looked at either of them, I’d break. So I went and followed the officers, who were waiting at the end of the hall.

  Joshua’s cry made me tremble, but I’d lost him too.

  I refused to look back and proceeded with the officers. They opened two refrigerated morgue drawers and showed me the bodies.

  For both of them, it was like I saw nothing but an empty shell. I closed my eyes and wished I believed in something—anything—but then I sighed and said, “That’s them.”

  They closed the drawers, and I signed their papers.

  The night my parents died had felt endless, but for my siblings I felt nothing.

  We hadn’t been close in any way for years.

  The quiet in the hallway made me feel empty. Tonight I’d sleep at my sister’s, and tomorrow would be the last time I took the bus and train to get here, ever.

  This life was over. My phone rang. I glanced at the number and a shiver raced through me. I’d not seen or heard from that man in years.

  I denied it and decided I’d change my number soon.

  The past needed to stay there.

  The cold night air suited my life right now as I walked out of the hospital. I stood on the street and realized I needed my phone map to figure out how far I was from Leah’s. As I opened it, a limo stopped in front of me.

  Then I heard Joshua’s screams as the window rolled down. The door opened and Cyrus got out, holding the baby as he asked, “Sarah?”

  Joshua might be cold. I turned to them, arms ready to hold Joshua, but then I stilled and asked, “How do you know my name?”

  He beckoned me into the limo and said, “The social worker. Can we talk?”

  Inside his domain, where the rich and powerful dwelled, was not my normal. However, I climbed in and cupped Joshua’s head as I asked, “Do you not want your son?”

  Cyrus closed the door and said, “I do want him. He’ll have everything he needs or wants.”

  “That’s great.” I said and shivered. Joshua would be fine. Cyrus didn’t strike me as anything like Elijah’s dad, who ignored his older kids once he married and had other children.

  Then again, this man wasn’t married. My sister had told me all about the Norouzi heir.

  Then he held out his arms and offered Joshua to me as he said, “And he wants you.”

  I clutched Joshua like he’d been given to me forever and held him tight. He calmed in my arms. While I rocked him, I said, “I’ve been his babysitter and aunt since the day he was born.”

  Cyrus stared at me.

  I had no idea what he saw. It’s not like broken was embedded in the skin. And yes, my sister had better skin, but we’d always looked alike.

  I let out a sigh and offered Joshua one of the bottles from the bag I packed.

  Cyrus folded his arms in front of him and said, “Look, I hope you can come home with us.”

  The officers left the hospital and went to their car.

  I didn’t move until I lost sight of them.

  Then I focused back on Cyrus, his careful, interested attention giving me goose bumps. Logically I knew he wasn’t interested in me, but I asked, “Are you serious?”

  He scooted closer, and a growing awareness rushed through me as he said, “Tomorrow, or whenever you’re up to it, we’ll discuss letting me help you with whatever you need.”

  For the first time in my life, pangs poked at my tender, vulnerable places. I’d never felt jealous before, but I braced myself, since what I longed for was impossible, and said, “I don’t need your help. I’ll be here to help Joshua.”

  He nodded. “That’s what I want to hire you to do, full time.”

  My eyes misted. Maybe I wouldn't lose my Joshua too. I knew better than to dream, but still I asked, “Full time?”

  He placed his hand on my arm. My eyes widened, but he patted it like we were friends. “You’re his aunt, and I can pay better than waitress wages, even with tips.”

  “I’m sure you can,” I said.

  It wasn’t his fault that my skin was electrified by his touch. I’d temper that with time. Then he asked, “Will you stay?” />
  Hope never materialized into anything, but he was promising me time with Joshua. I swallowed. It would have to be enough. So I said, “Okay.”

  He then rolled down the partition, told his driver to go, and closed it once we were underway.

  Now we were alone again, he sat back and gazed at me as he said, “My family is home tonight, so we won’t be alone.”

  Even if we were, it was clear I was the help. Joshua had fallen asleep, so I asked, “Is that a problem?”

  He laughed. “Just a warning. The Norouzi clan is quite large.”

  A family that called themselves a clan sounded nice. I’d never really fit in anywhere before.

  My new goal was to ensure Joshua fit in. Cyrus seemed sincere, although my stay was temporary and clearly labeled. I shrugged and said, “That’s nice. I’m officially all alone with no one left.”

  His gaze narrowed. “You have Joshua and me.”

  He held his arms open for his son. I swallowed and gently placed the sleeping baby in his arms again as the limo stopped, and I said, “Yeah, right, but thank you for your good intentions. Let’s go in.”

  I didn’t wait for the driver, instead letting myself out. Then I looked up at the giant mansion that must have a view of the ocean in the daylight.

  The brightest lights right now were the stars and inside the mansion, but I smelled the salt in the air as around us were grass and all kinds of plants.

  He directed us toward the door as he held Joshua and said, “Tomorrow, will you answer questions about your sister?”

  I stopped at the rounded double doors and kept my head down. I didn’t belong in a mansion, and my story would prove that. I rocked and said, “Sure. I don’t have to keep her secrets any longer. Leah was brilliant enough to get into medical school. She was almost a million dollars in debt, but her life was hers to direct. She wanted to have a baby. She met you. She figured she could do what our mom did when she had Elijah.”

  He paused beside me and asked, “What was that?”

  If I’d ever mentioned any of this before tonight, I’d have betrayed the few principles I had. I swallowed when realized the secret would only hurt Joshua if I didn’t manage cement him in his father’s love, forever. I met Cyrus's gaze and said, “Have a baby with a rich man and then sell him time with the baby so she would have an income stream.”

  Neither of us moved as he whispered, “That’s cold.”

  “It’s reality.” I said and braced myself. If he told me to get lost, I’d understand.

  He reached for the door and said, “Be prepared for everyone to assume you’re grieving when we go in.”

  I trembled but nodded. I was here to ensure that Joshua was loved and provided for. Cyrus was a temporary side trip in my life, and it was best if I accepted whatever crumbs I could until I was sure Joshua had everything he could ever want or need.

  3

  Cyrus

  The last person I expected to see walking in with Joshua was the cyclist.

  Now she was home with me, though, I wondered if I finally had the break I wanted. For weeks I’d agonized over my son, and now he was home and safe.

  Sarah was probably grieving, and my brother Elon was probably in shock since he spoke highly of Leah professionally.

  So I held my tongue when I finally got to have my son in my arms.

  I hadn't pegged Leah as someone who drove drunk, but honestly, I hadn’t known her for more than one night. Earlier tonight, when she dismissed me with a giggle, I’d known there was a man in her apartment. I’d been jealous because someone else was with my son.

  And now I wanted to know everything because it affected Sarah.

  She stirred me with desire and the urge to help her at the same time.

  I walked her into the foyer, still carrying my son, and my parents immediately joined us, like they’d were perched near the living area, waiting for us to come inside.

  I held out my son, and they saw he was sleeping, but then I rested my hand on Sarah’s shoulder and said, “Maman, Pedar, this is Sarah.”

  My mother opened her arms and hugged her as she said, “We’re so sorry.”

  Sarah sniffled back a tear. “I’m sorry my sister…” Then shook her head and let my mom go, saying, “I’m sorry too.”

  My mom beckoned for us to follow her, like I was still a child, as she said, “Let’s get you settled in a room, Sarah. Most of the family has left, but never mind that. Are you hungry?”

  Sarah rested her hand on her stomach. “I… a little.”

  My mother glanced at me like I’d flunked the hospitality test and then directed us into the dining room. “Let’s get you something to eat.”

  Sarah stalled near the door and her face went white as she said, “I'm sure I can find the kitchen myself.”

  My mother returned, clearly intending to guide Sarah. “Nonsense, you’re our guest. Please, come in and sit.”

  I moved closer and reached for her hand before my mother did. However, the second I brushed against her sparks cascaded through me. I ignored how alive my body was with her as I said, “I’ll bring her right back. I’m sure she’ll want to see the nursery first.”

  Maman nodded and said, “Dinner will be warmed up.”

  She held my hand without question until we made it to the stairs. When she let me go, a chill followed, like the sun had gone behind a cloud as she said, “I… thank you. All I've eaten today were some Reese’s hours ago. I thought I’d be back in Manhattan by now, and then…”

  “Don’t worry,” I whispered.

  Tonight would have been very different for all of us if she hadn't missed the bus. But I’d never say that out loud, ever. Instead I walked her down a hall filled with art and statutes and guided her to a bedroom on the east side with the ocean view. I opened it as I said, “This is the nursery.”

  She held her waist and twisted on her feet to take stock of the room with the white crib, the rocking chair in the corner, the tent with a rug, and toy bins. She sighed and said, “It looks ready for him.”

  I lowered my son into the crib, and he remained asleep as I whispered, “Maman is always wanting grandchildren.” I then directed her out.

  I grabbed the video cam and the instructions for adding it to our phones now Joshua was in there sleeping, and followed right behind her sexy, swaying ass. As I closed the door behind us, I said, “Once you’ve rested, we can talk about where you want to go.”

  I handed her the directions as she said, “Me?”

  The camera worked fine because I could see my sleeping son. But her ten-year-old phone didn’t support the app, so I switched with her and promised myself I'd get her a new phone tomorrow. “I took time off so we can bond with Joshua, wherever we choose.”

  She clutched the monitor like she needed it and said, “Wherever you want is fine. But I don’t have a passport.”

  Errands would take care of all that. I shrugged and said, “Then tomorrow we’ll need to take your picture.”

  “Sure,” she said and rocked on her feet.

  Right. I walked her a few feet away and opened the next room, which had a bed. I glanced back at her while my lips tingled with the urge to taste her, and my heart fluttered. But I stayed right where I was and only pointed from the door. “This is your room. That door goes right to Joshua.”

  Her head swiveled as she took in the vaulted ceilings and original paintings by an artist my mother was now supporting.

  She held her stomach and said, “This is more than I expected.”

  When she turned toward me, she lowered her head.

  My pulse raced like I needed to get her to open up when I said, “Clothes will arrive soon.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t need anything. Can you tell your parents I’ll stay here and out of the way?”

  She didn’t understand what my name meant. I had the best, which meant she now had the best too. However, I beckoned for her to join me and not escape into her room and close the door behind her. “That�
�s not going to happen. They’ll send food to your room and maybe a doctor. Are you sick?”

  She put her hand on her hip and smiled. “I thought you were a doctor.”

  She lit up, and I forgot where I was as I asked, “Do you need me to write a report?”

  Her smile got bigger and then she shrugged, closing the door behind her. “Okay. I admitted I was hungry. Let’s go.”

  We went back down the stairs together, and everything in my life seemed lighter despite the horrible tragedy she’d suffered. I gently bumped into her and said, “You’re lucky you missed dinner earlier. All eleven of my brothers were here.”

  She pressed her hand on her heart and said, “Truly? Twelve boys? That seems astronomical.”

  When we entered the dining room, we were alone. I directed her to the seat next to mine as I said, “With two brothers married, and now two grandchildren, my parents are somewhat obnoxious about bliss.”

  She slid into her seat, and I swear her hair smelled like strawberries as she said, “Bliss is one of those words I associate with ice cream, not feelings.”

  This time I laughed and joined her as I said, “We’ll have ice cream for desert so you can re-experience it, then.”

  The wait staff who brought in the dinner nodded that they heard us. Two plates were brought, which meant I was having seconds tonight so I could avoid being rude.

  She put her napkin on her lap and said, “Not what I meant, but this looks delicious.”

  She then scooped a large bite of the eggplant stew in her mouth and moaned like she was happy or having an—no. I squashed the inappropriate thought.

  Her happy moans impressed me, and I said, “Not everyone likes Persian food. If you prefer a burger, our kitchen can make one for you in just a few minutes.”

  She finished her bite and shook her head. “I eat burgers all the time in the restaurant. This is delicious.”

  I laughed and said, “Glad you like it. One of my girlfriends left me because she hated the food I love.”

  Sarah licked her lips, but then her eyes had a gleam in them as she said, “Love is a big commitment to food.”

  With every girlfriend I’ve ever had up to now, I’d never once uttered I love you. It was intimate and true, but I was already thinking the L-word when I was near her, and backed down quickly. “I’m sticking to my claim. Food is amazing.”