Handsome Read online

  We ate in silence except for her small sighs and moans while she enjoyed her dinner. Nothing in my life had given me this much pleasure in ages.

  My phone rang, and as I reached for it, she said, “Great ringtone.”

  I glanced at it and sent the caller to voice mail as I said, “It’s the dance committee. I don’t have a partner, so it doesn’t matter.”

  Her eyes widened in surprise. “Ballroom dancing?”

  “Yeah, it used to be a hobby,” I said, without much enthusiasm. For a few months my quest to enjoy life away from the hospital led me to dance, and I enjoyed it—a lot.

  She swayed to music only she could hear while the staff took our plates and delivered the ice cream sundaes. She moved and said, “I’ve always wanted to learn.”

  The air between us sizzled with awareness when I replied, “Then let’s train so you can be my new partner.”

  She froze, but then picked up her spoon as she sighed and said, “It'd be a waste of time since I have no sense of rhythm.”

  I patted her hand, but then another jolt rocketed through me. I let her go fast and said, “And I’m not really in it to compete. I just do it for fun, so that's fine.”

  She curled her nose in the air and said, “I’m sure you’ll find someone else.”

  My last dance teacher had clearly hoped to be my new girlfriend, but I only wanted to learn the steps, not date. Now, with Sarah, I’d have an excuse to hold an interesting woman while I whispered, No, I think I finally found a partner who might stick.

  We finished our ice cream and she jumped up like she wanted to bolt, but instead she grinned said, “Well goodnight, Fred.”

  I tilted my head and said, “I’m Cyrus.”

  She crossed her arms and said, “I meant Fred Astaire. That’s his name, right? The guy in the black and white movies who dances?”

  “Yes. Good night, Sarah.”.

  She ran, but I watched her hips sway again. She was a mystery I wanted to know better, but also there was something about her that made me pause. For the first time in forever, I wondered what it would be like to have her as my own.

  4

  Sarah

  My mind whizzed. I hadn’t expected to wake up and stare at paintings of sunrises or abstract wall decorations made of wire sculptures with shells.

  My shared bedroom in my apartment never had art. And my bed at home wasn’t nearly this springy. I ended up sleeping in my shirt from yesterday because I hadn’t dared touch anything in the room.

  I didn’t want to get up, though dawn was near.

  I checked the baby monitor and saw Joshua was still sleeping and rubbed my eyes. Since it was so late already, maybe he’d sleep right through ‘til the sun was up.

  Last night wasn’t going to be the norm. I’d agreed to be the hired help, so the first thing on my to-do list was to stifle my unrequited longing for Joshua’s father.

  Then I called the morgue and made the arrangements. My shoulders sagged with exhaustion, but then I tugged on the jeans I’d tossed on the floor and dragged my feet into the bathroom to brush my teeth.

  My heart quickened when I glanced around the marble room. The shower was a glass wall and had two nozzles where water came out. An amazing luxury I’d only seen in a magazine or on a commercial.

  However, I finished, and then rushed out. When Joshua woke, he’d need a new diaper and a bottle, and both of them were still in the diaper bag.

  I was sure they’d buy formula today, but I raced down the stairs and found my way to the kitchen.

  The chef in the white hat was at work, and he directed me to a shiny silver refrigerator marked "bottles." I could see my reflection in it, so it was probably new, but I opened it and found—breast milk. My mind raced. My sister had stopped trying to pump at six weeks and settled on formula. I worked for weeks before I found nipples and formula that worked for Joshua and didn’t cause him a stomachache. So I grabbed an empty bottle from one of the bags and added the breast milk.

  As soon as the bottle was warmed, I grabbed a diaper from my bag and headed for the stairs.

  I’d barely made it to the dining room when I ran into Cyrus’s mother. He called her Maman, but that probably wasn’t her name. And with everything that happened, I swallowed, unsure what to call Mrs. Norouzi.

  She smiled at me and said, “You’re up early.”

  I held up the glass bottle I bought for Joshua as I said, “Just getting a bottle before Joshua wakes up.”

  She turned to walk with me and asked, “May I join you?”

  Hopefully there was no quiz on names. She walked in step with me as I said, “Of course. He needs the glass ones because he couldn't get enough suction with the plastic to get enough to eat. Hopefully he loves the breast milk, because the poor little guy gets gassy, and I feel so sorry for him.”

  “I bought a subscription last night, so he’ll always have the best,” she said quickly. She linked arms with me and said, “Parvis and I planned to go to the Panama Canal. If you or my son need our help, we can change our plans.”

  Cyrus’s father was Parvis. I’d remember that.

  Then, as we reached the top step, Cyrus said, “We’ll be fine, Maman. Tell Pedar I hope you both have a wonderful time.”

  I lowered my head quickly. I shouldn't gawk at him. My sister never mentioned she’d chosen the handsomest man she ever met, not that I’d have believed her.

  And I was the new hired help. This was the first job in my life that I needed to keep, so I wasn't about to fuck it up on the first day.

  I moved to leave, but his mother held me tight as she said, “With all our sons now fully grown, my husband and I spend all our time together, but the long trip will be fun.”

  The zip in my veins wasn’t good, though I knew it was from both Cyrus and his mother. I wasn’t sure when was the last time someone held me like they wanted me close. My customers at the diner hardly noticed I was there, and my roommates and I never associated beyond paying the rent.

  I mumbled, “I’m sure a vacation will be great.”

  She laughed and said, “You’re sweet. I’m glad you’re here with us.”

  We all walked into the nursery. Joshua stretched, already the king of the castle here. I moved toward him, but Cyrus gripped my wrist and said to his mother, “Thank you. I’ll give you time alone with your grandson.”

  I handed over the bottle. Joshua would be fine.

  And being held by Cyrus sent a thrill zinging through me. No man had ever rocked me to my very core this way, and we weren’t even in bed.

  I tugged myself free to stifle the hormonal response that could never be expressed and paused at my door.

  Last night clothes had appeared in my room as if by magic, and in my size. I bit my lips, because asking was rude, but then had to ask, “Cyrus, did you order those clothes for me?”

  He shrugged. “It’s the custom in our house to ensure our guests have everything they need.”

  I lifted my chin and held my breath so he couldn't see me trembling.

  His dark eyes were so expressive, and my knees would have given out on me if I hadn't been holding onto the door. I swallowed and said, “So they’re just borrowed. Okay, I can live with that.”

  He laughed like I just told him a joke, and then patted my arms and shook his head. “Whatever we bought is yours to keep. We don’t recycle underwear to give to random people.”

  My eyes widened and I inhaled. Then I giggled while a hot blush covered my face. “That’s not what I meant. I should be horrified.”

  He winked and said, “I’ll come get you in twenty minutes, so you have time to shower and change.”

  Right. Work. The Norouzis must have a plan. I saluted him and said, “I’ll be ready to watch Joshua.”

  He tilted his head like he hadn’t understood me and said, “I spent most of my night in there with him, and this morning we’re letting Maman and Pedar have a few hours before they leave.”

  Today was turning out to be the m
ost confusing day I’d had in forever. I turned to leave, but then I stopped myself, kept my head down and said, “Of course. Why do you call your mom and dad Maman and Pedar?”

  His lips curved higher, and he said, “Maman means 'mom,' and Pedar means 'father.' When we were children, we called Pedar 'baba,' but once we turned five or six, he became Pedar.”

  It was on the tip of my tongue to ask him his mother’s name, but I adjusted my collar and said, “That’s cool. Give me a few minutes.”

  I scurried inside before he could say anything else. Once the door clicked shut behind me, I threw myself on the bed and covered my head with a pillow.

  Maybe it was the depressing start to my day, but I didn’t feel like I could be myself here.

  However, I stripped, leaving my clothes in a trail behind me, and went to shower in my en suite room.

  A shower usually woke me up, and I sighed to myself when I realized the showerhead above me rained water while the one coming out of the wall was more like a normal showerhead, but controlled with a lever, which was way nicer than the simple twist knob I’d always used.

  I forgot myself and thought about Cyrus.

  His kiss must make an entire body… who was I kidding… those lips of his on mine would make me melt faster than butter on hotcakes.

  I turned off the water to stop any further thoughts about my new boss.

  We’d have to talk, first so I could find out whether I could quit the diner, because I wasn’t sure about this job's benefits, pay, or anything. As I showered, I reminded myself I was here to ensure he bonded with Joshua.

  I also wanted to make sure that even if he married some uptight woman and he and his wife had children of their own, he wouldn't abandon Joshua.

  Elijah knocking on my door when he was eighteen and then moving out weeks later had been more heartbreaking for me than our parents’ death.

  I’d hoped he’d be okay until that happened. Once Leah and he had reconnected, though, I was left out.

  On one level I didn't mind, because drinking was never my escape.

  I shook off the thoughts when I put on music from my old phone and swayed my hips. Music usually took my mind off my troubles and when I danced to the closet, I found a cute blue day dress. I giggled to myself while I dressed, not caring that the hem stopped high on my thighs, way higher than I was used to. I was lost in the music as I picked up the mess I left on the floor while I swayed.

  The music made me bounce and picking up my dirty laundry was the closest to twerking I’d ever do. The dress flipping with me made me feel like a star.

  Then I heard Cyrus. My skin grew goose bumps as I straightened quickly, tugging my dress down.

  Heat rushed through me. Had he seen my butt and new panties?

  His hands were relaxed at his sides, but he gazed at my waist a moment longer before meeting my eyes and saying, “Looks like you’re ready.”

  Oh, no. My hips aren't perfect, since the diner foods I ate most of the time were usually fried. My heart raced, but I walked over and joined him.

  I tugged on the hem of my dress and said, “I haven't worn a dress in… I don’t even remember. It was probably high school.”

  He offered his arm and said, “You don’t have to.”

  Oh, goodness. Even if I looked horrible and a fraud, I’d see this through. I put my hands on my hips and asked, “Do my legs offend you?”

  He winked and glanced up and down my body as he said, “Not at all. They're a very sexy part of you that I can’t help but notice. Are you ready to go?”

  I blushed so hard I was sweating for a second. I hadn’t meant to flirt. But I took his proffered arm and walked beside him as I said, “Politeness is nice.”

  We passed the nursery. “Where are we going? The baby is that way.”

  He tilted his head in the direction we were walking. “He’s downstairs. We have a few hours to go and get your picture taken.”

  I tensed as I raised my eyebrow. “You were serious last night?”

  “I’m always very serious,” he said, and his wide-eyed stare made me fall silent.

  I had nothing to say to that, but as we stepped out, I spotted his silver Aston Martin, and he opened the door for me.

  For a split second I imagined I was off to a casino with a British spy. However, I shrugged it off and slipped in. Might as well pretend this was normal. Cyrus sat in the driver's seat and checked all his mirrors.

  I watched his profile. And then I said, “You’d never have made a successful match with my sister.”

  This time it felt like my whole body blushed, I was so hot. I cringed in my seat because I hadn't meant to bring up my sister with him.

  The pang in my heart was that she’d hurt someone who for some reason I trust.

  He lowered his voice and said, “Speaking of, if you need anything for the funerals, just let me know and I’ll take care of it.”

  “Don’t worry about it.” I wrinkled my nose, but it was time to explain the arrangements. It was cheapest this way, so I shrugged and said, “I want them cremated, and then I’ll scatter their ashes on the ocean with my parents.”

  We stopped at a photo shop. I hopped out before he said anything else. However, when he joined me a moment later, he offered his hand and said, “I’ll do whatever you want.”

  He opened the door, but I met his gaze and ignored how safe I felt with him and said, “Death is coming for all of us eventually. It’s inevitable. Although honestly, I’m still in shock.”

  Nothing else was said except when he directed us to stand for a passport photo, where I concentrated on the photographer's instructions.

  Once I was done with the few snaps, like when I got my driver’s license, I returned to stand with Cyrus. He pressed his hand on mine and said, “I tried hard to get Leah to open up to me.”

  I took my hand back and shook my head. The cashier gave me the two copies, and I rolled my eyes at the photos and then handed them over as I said, “See? I take horrible pictures.”

  “These are adorable,” he said, and slipped them into his pocket.

  I glanced up at the sky. The ocean was close. Maybe today I’d sneak over to look at it, possibly when I took Joshua on one of our strolls. I peeked over my shoulder at Cyrus as we walked out. “I’ve never been adorable. That’s how we describe little girls.”

  He jogged and walked next to me to the parking lot. “I bet you were even more adorable then.”

  I stopped. For a second it was like we were flirting. If he was anyone else, I’d have indulged, but as I reached for my door, I asked, “Were you this charming with Leah?”

  Then I slipped inside the car and closed the door, cringing because I’d brought her up again. I hadn’t wanted to be jealous. Why can't I keep my stupid mouth shut?

  He joined me in the car but didn’t start it right away. He kept his hands on the wheel but said, “I hardly knew her. Even though you and I are discussing things today and only met last night, I have to say you and I probably know each other better than I knew Leah.”

  And I knew there'd been no longing, no genuine attraction, on Leah’s part. I reached out and brushed my hand across his shoulder and down his muscular arm as I said, “That’s so sad. For a long time, I lost touch with my glamorous sister because she didn’t want me around.”

  He turned the air conditioner on. I sighed with appreciation, since it was getting warm outside, but then he asked, “Why not?”

  I’d never be perfect. I’d never wanted to cover up my pain and pretend to be something I’m not. Granted, Leah was the smart, determined to be successful, and now just gone sister. A tear trickled down my face, and I glanced out the window. But because this was Cyrus, the truth tumbled out. “I’m not her speed. I’ve never wanted to be more than I am, but when Joshua was born and she realized she couldn’t do it alone, she found me.”

  “I’m glad you reconnected,” he said, and started the car. “And that you were there to watch out for Joshua.”

  I
deliberately blanked my face and breathed slowly and deeply for a minute or two. When I was certain I could hold it together, I said, “Me too. Her and Elijah both… But we weren’t like you and your family. We weren’t… close.”

  He drove back to the estate and, as we passed the gates, he said, “Well, our lives are changing. This afternoon we’ll have a dance class.”

  I wasn’t designed to be anyone’s partner on a floor or in life. But I kept that to myself and asked, “Who's going to watch Joshua?”

  He parked and said, “He can come. Music is good for all of us, I think.”

  Right. If I was holding a baby, maybe my libido would stop wanting the impossible.

  We got out, once again me letting myself out first. As he joined me, I said, “Cyrus, I like you, but don’t push.”

  “I never push.” He said it like I’d offended him.

  I shook my head and took a step toward the door, but glanced back at him as I said, “Somehow I don’t believe you, but it seems it's time to go in now.”

  “One second,” he called.

  I paused and turned back toward him. Part of me wanted to wrap my arms around him and throw caution to the wind, but I only gripped my hands at my waist as I asked, “What do you want?”

  He stepped closer, and it was like he had the power to make the entire world disappear while he focused on me as he said, “I want you to trust me. I’m here for you.”

  I reached out and rested my hand on his chest. I was tingling all over, but I gazed up, aching to kiss him or hold him tight. Either way, I knew we’d never do any of those things, so I said, “I like the idea, but trust takes time.”

  He held me for a second while he said, “Just don’t shut me out.”

  I looked down and stepped back, crossing my arms while I shook my head and said, “I’m not my sister, though I do know exactly how being shut out feels. We didn’t speak for five years until she needed my help.”